I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
