I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
