i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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