you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
I'm sobbing to NWA
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize