i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Randomize
