Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
