My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
When did angry sex become our thing?
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
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