we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
