soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
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