I look better un-naked...
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize