I wanna bring you to show and tell
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
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