i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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