you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
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