i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
