apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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