Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
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