I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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