Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
