How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize
