sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
weddingsv make me drug and hornr
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
