I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Randomize
