My Higher Power is John Stamos
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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