I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
Randomize
