Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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