My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
Randomize
