HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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