Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Randomize
