If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
Randomize
