i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
Randomize
