Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Ladies don't puke and tell
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
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