Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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