Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize