My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Randomize
