My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Randomize
