Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
she pinky promised me she was 18
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
Randomize