that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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