Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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