I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
where are my eyebrows?
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Randomize
