do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
im calling her cock vulture from now on
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
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