Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
