He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
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