chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
