That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
