do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
