ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize