first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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