I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Floor bacon is actually really good
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Randomize
