i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
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