I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
