i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
