watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
