im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
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