Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Randomize
