Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
