Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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