I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
Randomize
