He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Randomize
