I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
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