you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
They are going to name an STD after you.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Randomize
