I'm laying in your front yard are you home
party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
