She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
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