You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
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