38 yer olds are good kisserssss
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
There r osticjed everywhere
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
