What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
you had me at cake vodka
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
