therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize