"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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